THAT’S A BIG TWINKIE

Dr. Egon Spengler: I’m worried, Ray. It’s getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.

Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, “big”?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

Winston Zeddemore: That’s a big Twinkie.

That’s pretty much how I feel about last night’s episode, “The Package.” Mimi and I were cracking up all night because that’s how we would refer to Walker when he was an infant; I’d call Mimi up and say “I have the package” when I’d pick him up from day care like that was his Secret Service code name and it just sort of stuck. So when Widmore first told Jin “I think it’s time you saw the package” I couldn’t help but think there’s something big on the horizon, and it’s a big Twinkie. Let’s get to it:

1. FIVE FEET TALL AND THREE FEET THICK; HIT ME HIT ME HIT ME: I liked the reversal this ep of our usual first shot of someone waking up with a close-up on the eye. The first shot here is the exact opposite: a point-of-view shot of Widmore’s men spying on the camp with night vision goggles. Not so much see-the-eye as what-the-eye-sees. I also liked the Locke-Dressed Monster nonchalantly swinging his Jesus stick through the jungle as if he was in a community theatre production of “Singin’ in the Rain.” Was that a mere walking stick, or were we supposed to have Mister Eko flashbacks? With six eps left, I think everything we see has some sort of secret meaning, but I allow that that could just be because this show has made me crazy.

2. HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND: I might not have mentioned this first bit if it weren’t for EJ Feddes pointing out a similar mis-hear, but I sometimes get more entertainment out of my television programs than the original producers intend because of the two years I cut granite next to four 120 db gang saws. Wearing your ear protection around your neck may look cool but doesn’t help you hear any better twenty-five years later. So when the Night Vision Goggles Guy and Zoe trank everyone at the camp and are bending over Jin, he asks Zoe, “Is this the guy?” and Zoe says, “Yeah… that’s Jacob.” I nearly pooped myself! The ramifications of that! Widmore’s team has bet it all on Jin for some reason, and… and… and…

…and Mimi said, “No, honey, she pretty clearly says ‘Yeah… let’s take him.'” But that’s not what I thought she said. And EJ has one a little later that’s much, much less cut-and-dried. I even played the scene back and forth a few times, and darned if I don’t agree with him… When Keamy has Jin X tied up in the restaurant freezer, he says, “Gotta strap you in here, just in case you figure out what’s about to happen at the Island; can’t have you freaking out.” I’m with EJ, he definitely says that, but plays it off and starts talking about something else so quickly, the audience doesn’t really process that. But he says it, oh yes. The closed -captioning says “…just in case you figure out what’s about to happen to you…” but that’s not what my TiVo says, nosir.

3. KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY AND KNOW WHEN TO RUN: My man Frank has a hilarious line, in which we think he’s defending Hurley but ends up saying: “Heeeeyyy… Don’t talk about bacon.” I hope Frank makes it home, I do, because he’s just going to be out there takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners. Remember when he comes back with the Oceanic Six? Is he famous, like all the others? Does he write his memoirs? Nope; just a shave and a fresh shirt and flying commercial for a change. Man, I love that character. Nothing fazes him.

4. HE WAS IN A BIND; HE WAS WAY BEHIND. HE WAS LOOKIN’ TO MAKE A DEAL: I got a little chill when Sun cut her thumb on the bramble when she was clearing her garden and she looked at the blood on her thumb and… Smokey appeared. It was like he was called by the fresh blood like some kind of Dharma shark, or something.

And this brings up the tomato. Jack offers Sun a notebook and pen to write out her thoughts since she can’t speak English after that tree thing, and offers her a tomato from her garden. After three years of not being tended, the plants still offered up fruit. Now, some commentators think it’s a metaphor for hope, or some kind of stick-to-it-iveness allegory when Jack says, “That’s one stubborn tomato. I guess no one told it it was supposed to die.”

I think Sun and Jin really are going to get their happy ending, because after three years of not tending their relationship, the Ji Yeon tomato still thrives.

5. OR NOT: On the other hand, when Widmore is telling Jin about the stakes of the game… that if Smokey leaves the Island, then Ji Yeon, Penny, everyone they hold dear will “simply cease to be.” That’s a very careful use of language, there. He doesn’t say “die” or whatever; he uses terms that make you think the Dimension X reality will become ascendant, where Sun is either dead or unable to have children what with her getting gutshot by Two-Eyed Mikhail and whatnot. That, like Winston says, is one big Twinkie.

6. DEEP THOUGHTS, CHEAP SHOTS, AND BON MOTS: This reflection/mirror image thing isn’t getting more subtle. besides Sun checking out her doppleganger in Dimension X, we also had Jin reflected in the freezer and Mikhail and Sun reflected prominently in the aluminum shelves at the restaurant. Keamy called Mikhail “Danny’s friend,” which some people think is referring to Faraday, but I like to think is Pickett, making the Dimension X thugs know the former Other henchmen. “Maybe you should put a mercenary in charge instead of a geophysicist.” OH SNAP. Betsy Warren notes all the candidates to replace Jacob are male; that Sun isn’t the listed Kwon because she didn’t time-travel. Samantha Olsson thought that Richard asked for immortal life so that he wouldn’t have to face eternity knowing for sure he’d be without his wife. She thinks he assumed she is in Heaven because she’s good. If he can’t earn his way into heaven via redemption and hell is for sure a way to be without her for good, eternal life means holding off the finality of that forever. Whew.