AND NOW A MASSAGE FROM THE SWEDISH PRIME MINISTER

Is it just me, or does everyone think they are getting coded messages from the Lost writers and producers in the dialogue of this show? Last week it was the Nonsense Monster telling us to not worry about asking questions because that only brings up more questions that we won’t get answers to, and this week it was every other character telling someone to just “try and let go.” I am alternately filled with dread and relief that this damn show is over Sunday night. So, yeah, have at it:

1. I like the first shot of the opening eye isn’t one of our guys experiencing the causality loop or system reset or whatever the hell is going on when they do a close-up on an eye; rather it’s just a fluttering of Jack X’s lids as he wakes up in the Sideways Happytown that is LA X. Sometimes a close-up on an eye is just a close-up on an eye. More of those coded messages, I guess. Then, the next shot is Jack X looking at his neck wound he’s had since the Sydney flight landed. What the hell, Jack X? You’re a doctor! Seeping throat wound doesn’t raise your suspicions? Granted, I can see where among those suspicions raised, first on the list may well not be “Injury sustained by alternate version of me three years in the future” but still. One assumes one would have a greater sense of alarm than just a soulful gaze in a mirror.

And speaking of mirrors, that double-image/doppleganger/reflection visual metaphor-for-the-dual-nature-of-the-character-this-season thing isn’t getting any more subtle, is it? In addition to Jack’s moody blues, we’re also treated to Ben X (excuse me Doctor Ben X)’s pensive gaze into the school nurse’s floor-length. “Oh, I can’t help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man. Has to be.” Ben seems to be thinking. Sorry you’re evil in our universe, Ben, but like EJ Feddes wrote this week, that fits in with your interests and skill set.

2. And speaking of mirroring, how’d you like the thematic mirroring of Jack sewing up Kate’s bullet wound with Kate stitching up Jack in the pilot episode?

3. Didn’t you love Desmond X literally beating the information into Ben X? While he’s walking the Earth, like Caine in Kung Fu, I love how he uses the Huey Lewis Power of Love to make people FEEL IT, or he throws a punch party and they can FEEEL IT that way. So Hurley, who’s a good guy, gets a visit from a lost love, and Ben, the scheming douchebag, gets a Scots knuckle shampoo. Either way, Desmond X is going to make you FEEL IT. Like my old college roommate, the avuncular but improbably named Rob Lavender pointedly wrote this morning: “Ya wanna know who I am? PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH” Truer words, etc.

Additionally, it seems to me the Huey Lewis Power of Love yields a clarity of thought in the Dimension X folks. Even though Charlie did almost drown himself and Des X, having his eyes opened to Penny and his son (in another life, brotha) made Des X see the other side with a clarity of vision. So too after a beachside picnic with Libby, Hurley shows up with money and cars and says nonchalantly, “Hey, you didn’t tell me Ana-Lucia was going to be here.” Hugo X is completely down with the program, but Roadkill Locke and Doctor Ben are a little unclear on the concept, although they’re ahead of Jack X, who, as noted above, seemingly thinks he cut himself shaving or something while he slept. I guess if anyone could have done that, it’d be Dr. Squarejaw.

4. Not to bring up the coded messages from the writers thing again, but did you notice that Sawyer called the Smoke Monster “Flocke”? How hilarious is that? It’s like there’s a set of Lostaways that we’ve been following for five years, then a set introduced this season from another dimension, and a third set of characters that are time-swept like the others but have access to the Internet in 2010. Can’t you just see Sawyer editing his own entry on Lostpedia.com or Claire getting pissed off everyone calls her crazy thing “squirrel baby” or Kate getting into flame wars anonymously, defending her lameness? I mean, anyone besides me?

5. Gotta give a shout out to Mark Herr, who turned me on to that “red” thing. When Hurley sees Man-Jacob by the fire after chasing the 13 year old version, there’s a huge plot of incongruously red flowers in the foreground. I don’t know what that means, but it really struck me.

6. “If you need us, we’ll be running through the jungle.” I dunno, it’s cool to see Miles again, but giving him the episode quips just makes me miss Lapidus. Frank better be back on Sunday, that’s all I’m saying.

7. Speaking of coded messages, I can’t decide whether I think “It’s just chalk in a cave” is the most awesome line of all time or the biggest screw-you in TV history since Bobby Ewing came out of the shower. Are you kidding me? All that build-up to the numbers and the candidates and who’s-on-first implied in all that and then Jacob basically says, “Forget it, Jake; it’s Chinatown” like the answers are there if you want to see ’em but he’s not helping you muddle it out. Dang. I need a gratuitous picture of Showered Cindy to cleanse my Mind Palate of that one.

8. So, you can’t say they’re not bringing everyone together in Dimension X, at least, with everyone within fifty feet of Jack’s hospital going to the concert Jack’s son is playing at to benefit the museum Miles father works for that Hurley donated money to that Desmond bought the black dress for Kate to wear so he can make Penny jealous while Sawyer tries to hit on Juliet, who, no one is surprised to learn, is David’s mother. How this all shakes out, Island-wise, is why I’m taking the phone off the hook Sunday night.

9. So, some predictions: I think we can all agree that Dr. Squarejaw going through the character arc of Man of Science turning into Man of Faith so he can righteously protect those he’s come to love is a big fat red herring. Take Jack being the obvious guy to replace Jacob, add in that when Jack asks how long he does the job Jacob answers “as long as you can” and then lightly fold in while you stir that Hurley says, “Glad that’s not me” when Jack steps up to be anointed, and bake at three-fifty for twenty minutes in the Foreshadowing Oven, and you’ve got yourself a big batch of Hugo sitting on the beach when Locke comes up and says, “Do you know how badly I want to kill you right now?”

On The Island, Ben’s got the drop on Kate, but Sawyer sacrifices himself to free her. Maybe he takes out Ben as he does it, maybe Kate gets him in revenge, I dunno. Maybe Fake Locke‘s got Kate, and Jack sacrifices himself to free her, while at the same time disabling Flocke in a big Desmond-engined electromagnetic free-for-all that sinks the Island and mish-mashes the two universes together where Jack still gets to be the dad his wasn’t to him, Sawyer finally gets to have coffee with Juliet, Kate bakes cookies at Claire and Aaron’s house, Ben and Danielle and Alex all go dancing, and Mimi hires Ilana as a live-in nanny for Walker to give me and Lapidus time in our schedule to solve crimes as high-flyin’ beachcombing gumshoes.

And poor Hurley, the one guy who was honest and straight-forward and truthful and so damn worthy the whole show… is stuck on a beach for all eternity, protecting the light that lives within all of mankind from a murderous cloud of black smoke.

I’m just saying.