Tag: Television

  • IT’S NOT SO MUCH A MATTER OF WHERE WE ARE, BUT WHEN WE ARE

    I really, really want to like Alcatraz, but it’s just not the English major Super Bowl that LOST was. One of the drawbacks of the Alcatraz set-up is that it’s the anti-LOST. The reverse of the LOST premise. Instead of wondering what’s happening to all the pretty people on the mysterious Island, we’re wondering what’s happening with the premise. Instead of cluing in on approachable characters, who the audience roots for to solve the mystery that unfolds in puzzle pieces, in Alcatraz the audience is presented a mystery and then doled out characters who themselves are puzzle pieces in the strange goings-on. If these two shows were desserts, LOST would be a great big cake with a gooey inside, and Alcatraz would be a collection of eggs, flour and sugar on the counter which will be a tasty cake someday with a little application of effort. I’m not saying it’s not a cake; it’s just not a cake yet. Which I suppose is appropriate for a show that hinges on time-travel of some sort.

  • VOTE FOR ME

    One of the easiest ways to get the audience on your side right away is to put a little kid into jeopardy. Parents will freak out and join the story right away for obvious reasons, and everyone else recognizes the drama inherent when there is an innocent in trouble. But it’s a cheat. It’s like Brad Pitt showing up on Friends during sweeps week; it’s like having a 20 year old Dominican pitching your Little League game. It happens, and the that’s how the world works, but folks paying attention find it distasteful nonetheless.

  • THAT’S MORE LIKE IT

    One of the things that most Lost wannabes fell short on was the big splash in the first ten minutes. When the inciting mystery of The Event could be figured out just from the marketing in the months before the show aired, that doesn’t really bode well for mystery fans. Threshold, Surface… there was so much odd stuff happening before I knew anything about the characters it was just hard to see anything in it other than show runners trying to parse why everyone loved Lost so much. It’s the smoke monster and the time travel and onion-layer of the mystery, right? Where those previous shows missed the boat is obvious: they were trying to replicate the commercial success of Lost without understanding why the story resonated with the audience, first.

  • DAHNAH NAH, DAHNAH NAH, DAHNAH NAH, DAHNAH NAH, DAHNAHNAH DUHNUH-DAH! DAHNAHNAH DUHNUH-DAH!

    The missus and I were commenting on how great the teaser is in the structure of most Doctor Who episodes, and what really makes it work is the awesome eeeeeoooorrrooowww sting that caps the scene and starts the theme song:

  • I HATE FAN FICTION

    Just hate it, like that pic up-top, there, of The Doctor from Doctor Who in a First Contact-era Starfleet uniform. That’s some obvious fan-fiction I think is just sort of unnecessary. On the other hand, the distinction seems pretty nebulous, what with things like Wes Anderson’s Life Aquatic being pretty obviously Buckaroo Banzai: Against the World Crime League underwater, and at least two professional comic book writers launching their careers because they wrote entertaining slash fiction, or whatever. Honestly, I don’t even know, because I hate fan fiction.

  • OLEANDERS GROWING OUTSIDE HER DOOR

    I’m still trying to decide how I feel about the last episode of Lost, what that means for how I interacted with Season Six as an audience member, and how that colors how I feel about the series as a whole. Superficially, I can tell you I still enjoyed my time with it, but as of right this second I feel like my pal John Singh: “it’s beginning to get me really upset that the Lost folks have turned their back on the whole thing. They (the producers) won’t talk about it, won’t admit that they didn’t cover basics (like, ‘Why Tunisia?’) and won’t cop to any sort of acknowledgement of the disappointment some of us feel. So, rather than build my devotion and faith in Lost, they’re losing it by leaving it to the fans to sort this all out with even MORE wild theories, none of which will ever be supported (or disproved) by anything they say, apparently. SIMPLY PUT: I was in love. They changed and became something I couldn’t recognize. I am resentful of this, and I don’t know if I love them anymore.”

  • AND NOW A MASSAGE FROM THE SWEDISH PRIME MINISTER

    Is it just me, or does everyone think they are getting coded messages from the Lost writers and producers in the dialogue of this show? Last week it was the Nonsense Monster telling us to not worry about asking questions because that only brings up more questions that we won’t get answers to, and this week it was every other character telling someone to just “try and let go.” I am alternately filled with dread and relief that this damn show is over Sunday night. So, yeah, have at it:

  • SAY “WHAT” AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! SAY “WHAT” ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!

    Here at the end, the show doesn’t much lend itself to analysis anymore. Especially so last night’s ep, which explained a lot of the mythology and yet had no members of the regular cast. I think that was a ballsy and awesome storytelling choice, and if you disagree, you probably didn’t like the end of The Sopranos, either. So instead of some analysis, here’s just some observations:

  • UH, OH

    All right; let’s get this out of the way right off: I’m pretty sure Lapidus is full fathom five. They made his death a little too Boba-Fett-in-the-Sarlaac pit for my personal taste, and there is hope in that a little something like a flying bulkhead to the solar plexus and an apparent drowning is the sort of thing that Lost regularly throws at its characters who otherwise come out unscathed. Lapidus; you should have had a polar bear bite your head off or wrestle a giant squid so your friends could get away or something. But there’s a few things here at the end that is making it not look too good for my man Frank: 1., He’s not a main character; 2., In terms of the narrative, they’re weeding out everyone they don’t need as they get to the climax of the show; 3., He’s surplus to requirements now that it’s been revealed that Sideways Locke had his private pilot’s license. Sure; there’s a real-world difference between private and commercial aircraft, but, hey! it’s a TV show. So it’s not looking good for Lapidus. Although we haven’t seen him in the Sideways world yet, one imagines he’s out there taking ‘er easy fer all us sinners, like a wiser fella than m’self once said. So who knows? If the whole point is that it only ends once and everything else is just progress, maybe we’ll see Frank again. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

  • IF I’D KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW

    Because there’s no new Lost tonight (and since I’m one of those guys who’s more absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder than one of those out-of-sight-out-of-mind chuckleheads), I’d figure I’d watch the two-hour pilot and look for stuff that seemed simple or out of place at the time but is completely LOST-tastic now that we’re here at the end.

    Also, if I don’t do this, Samantha Olsson Shear (Congratulations to you and Mike!) won’t have anything to read tomorrow at lunch.